How to Move Forward
by Seito
Summary: Sequel to How to Survive being an SI Employee. We create our own demons. The aftermath of Extremis and the Mandarin's terrorist attacks caused ripple effects everywhere and months later Stark Industries is still rocking from the aftershocks. Because they're less of a company and more of a family who still care, who still worried. "What exactly do you mean the armor is gone?"
1. Lesson 1: Foundations Can Be Shaken

Summary:

We create our own demons.

Notes:

Unlike the previous two stories, this took a slightly darker approach to things. Less humor and more backstory, so for some of the employees you're going to find out quite a bit about them. I dunno, after I saw IM3, I just had to sit down to write Tony coping with it all, and failing and naturally, that meant the employees got concerned. Yes this has been sitting in wait for over a year. :P It's nearly done too. Nearly... This is a short run only about 5-6 chapters tops.

* * *

**Lesson 1:** Foundations Can Be Shaken

If you were to ask what a typical day at Stark Industries was like, Hotaru's answer would be: "Nothing like today." For you see today had started off smoothly, today had started off quietly, today Hotaru woke up with a very bad feeling. It was similar to one of those feelings she used to get before she was to get kidnapped, or before Kai would come home hurt from a dangerous mission. In a nutshell, it was going to be a very bad day.

She supposed that she could have avoided the entire mess by not coming into work but after recent events to throw things off the schedule would cause more worry than needed right now. Terrorists attacks, Extremis, reporters pouring into her lobby, everything with Mr. Stark from his challenge to the Mandarin, to his "death", to his surgery to his teammates who came back looking just as dead and beaten up as he did, everything had been a chaotic mess.

Hotaru was a pillar in that stormy sea. A sense of normalcy as things continued to rage on. Inside the company was no better than outside and every employee seemed to be dealing with some sort of fall out or crisis as country strained and recovered from the terrorist attacks. Pepper... was not okay. Which meant while Mr. Stark focused on curing her, Pepper's workload fell to others. Seika and Ita were buried under mountains of paperwork generated by the entire mess, which in turn caused strained elsewhere. Letters poured in, demanding to meet with the Avengers or with Mr. Stark; the amount the PR department was dealing with a nightmare. (Asho looked worse and worse as each day went by and yesterday Tam and Arashi forcibly dragged him out of the building, hopefully for rest.)

Everything was straining and the best Hotaru could do was offer a smile and a safe haven.

"Good morning Hotaru!"

Hotaru grinned. Now there was a voice she missed greeting in the morning. "Good morning Mr. Stark," she replied. Her smile wavered slightly as her eyes are drawn to his chest, noticing the lack of the arc reactor there. On one hand it was good that he had it removed, if only it meant that hopefully less people would try to kidnap him for it now. On the other hand, Hotaru worried, had always worried.

Her attention was then drawn to the bandages around his wrists and she frowned. Tony followed her line of vision and waved his hands in the air. "Don't worried about these, non-life threatening I promised," Tony said. "Though now that the armor is gone I supposed I don't really need these anymore."

Hotaru blinked once, then twice and slowly reran that sentence in her head. 'The armor is gone?' "What exactly do you mean the armor is gone?" she asked, panic beginning to build in her chest. This was probably it. This was probably the last straw to break the camel's back before Hotaru will utterly collapse from it all.

Tony gave her a strange look. It was a look that was both weary and angry at the same time, as if he had to explain this answer over and over again. 'Which given the month he was probably having, was probably an accurate description,' Hotaru thought.

"I blew them up," Tony said as a matter of fact. "And I don't plan on building anymore either. I haven't told the rest of the team yet that I won't be joining them on the field, but I'll figure something out. Fury already knows."

"The armor keeps you safe," Hotaru nearly shouted in a half strangled cry. She poured thousands of meanings behind those words. _Your armor protects you! Your team backs you up! Because ever since Afghanistan, because you built the armor I go to bed knowing that no matter what danger you get into, someone, something is watching your back. _Just because Tony decided to leave the superhero business, didn't mean there wasn't someone somewhere who wanted to harm him and hurt him. That was the case even before he had become Iron Man. Why couldn't he see how many people's lives he affected, how many people he was important to, how devastated all the employees were to even think he might have died when the Mandarin attacked his home in Miami?

Because they're less of a company, more of a family and while no employee could boast sibling bonds (that was reserved for Pepper, for Happy, for Rhodey, for the Avengers, possibly Ita), they're just like distant cousins, who still care, who still worried.

Tony looked at Hotaru, didn't hear the meanings behind the words, didn't see. "The armor doesn't make me Iron Man. I am Iron Man."

Hotaru understood that. That was never the issue in her head. But Tony didn't let her get in another word, leaving the lobby and entering the stairwell, not bothering to close the door.

She must have really upset him because the stairs? Really? Even to any of his usual hiding spots on the lower levels (Kit's lab, the main lunchroom, etc) it was a pretty long hike up. Hotaru let out a long frustrated sigh and tried to recompose herself. She was the pillar, she would hold as strong as she could until she couldn't anymore. But the little stresses and strains were finally starting to get to her and all her calmness was beginning to flee.

Hotaru stood up from her desk to close the door. As she exited her desk, Hotaru saw someone briskly approaching her. She stopped and asked, "Can I help you with something sir?"

Her eyes widened as she saw the red glow glittering across the man's skin and red gleam in his brown eyes. Hotaru knew this glow, had seen it a few days ago when Kai (bless his paranoia) had hacked SHIELD's files to find out what exactly had happened to Mr. Stark, the terrorists and whatever Extremis was.

"Help me," the man weakly gasped, reaching out a hand. The red glow grew brighter as his skin began to crack and sizzle.

Hotaru knew she had seconds to decide. She could dive behind her desk and pray the force field Tony had designed would hold or... Hotaru glanced to her right where the open door to the stairway was. Her heart dropped as she could still hear the footsteps echoing from it. She wasn't a scientist but even she knew that an explosion this close would just travel up the stairs like a funnel.

'_The armor is gone.'_

Hotaru made her decision.

The lobby rocked from the explosion.


	2. Lesson 2: Take a Deep Breath and Breathe

Never let it be said that Tony Stark didn't care about his employees. Which was why, he was currently sitting the hospital room (again) wondering what he did to deserve having the people he cared about get hurt. Tony ran a hand through his dark locks and let out a frustrated growl.

He looked over at Hotaru's still form in the bed, watching her chest slowly fall and rise. She was lucky that the thick steel door of the stairwell had taken the brunt of the force. Compared to Happy who walked away from an Extremis explosion with myriad of cuts, bruises and lacerations, Hotaru had come away with several serious burns on her arms, a broken leg, bruised ribs and being knocked unconscious.

Why she had been in the stairwell and not behind her desk where the force field would have protected her, Tony didn't know. And he refused to acknowledge the possibility that she didn't trust what he had built.

"Goddamnit Hotaru," Tony cursed. Why was she in the stairwell? He clenched his fist; his nails digging in so deeply, he was beginning to tear skin.

"You should go home and get some rest."

Tony flew out of his seat, startled. Turning around he saw Kai standing there. "Don't do that Kai," Tony scowled, his heart pounding. "It's already bad enough that Clint and Natasha do it. You don't need to add to my paranoia."

"I was here first," Kai said, sticking out his tongue.

Tony noted that the usual light hearted tone that Kai possessed was lacking. Even under the dim lights of the hospital room, he could see the dark circles under Kai's eyes, the tension in his shoulders and the missing smile. That made Tony shift uncomfortably. For as long as he could remember, there was never a time when Kai didn't possess a cheery smile and a positive outlook. Not even the time they had met amidst bloodied weapons and dead bodies. Hotaru's unbreakable calmness and Kai's positive attitude had been some of the constants Tony had come to rely on. Much like how JARVIS would always have his back, that Pepper was damn good at what she did and that his wits would always get him out of trouble. It was a bit frightening really to see that vanish, rocking his already rapidly changing world.

"I'm sorry," Tony blurted out, trying to break the tension.

Kai's eyebrow raised. "For what? Unless you're apologizing for the foam explosion in the cafeteria. I haven't had a chance to track down the culprit yet."

"No," Tony interrupted. "I'm sorry for this." He gestured backwards, at Hotaru's unconscious body. She continued on sleeping, unaware.

"Oh," Kai said, energy draining from his voice again. He seemed to shrink in size, nothing like the tall proud ninja he normally was. Then with a heavy sigh he said, "That's not really your fault you know."

"How is it not?" Tony snapped. He had made himself a bigger target by adding gasoline to the fire when he challenged a terrorist and his walking human bombs. True, if he hadn't gotten involved, they would have had a dead president and a new terrorist controlled puppet leading their nation. It was also probably true that Tony still would have gotten involved once Rhodey's suit had been compromised but it still meant too many people he cared about were getting caught in the crossfire. First Happy, Pepper, then his bots and now Hotaru. What next? His teammates? Oh wait they already had a bunch of crap handed to them. Tony let out an angry snarl and paced the length of the room.

Kai gave him a crooked smile, unphased by Tony's mood. "It would be a lie if I didn't say she was used to this stuff happening." He sat down in the chair next to the one Tony had been sitting in and motioned for Tony to join him.

"Let it go boss," Kai continued. "It's not your fault. We don't even know why the guy was there. He could have been looking for a cure and not looking to blow up the lobby." Kai shook his head. "The dead don't speak, well not normally," Kai said in a wryly tone.

Tony unclenched his fists, relaxing. Kai could joke. That was a good sign. It did nothing to relieve his guilt but it was a start.

"The point is," Kai carried on, "you need to let it go. If you start blaming yourself for every little thing, you'll drive yourself crazy."

Privately, Tony thought it was a little late for that.

"Beside this is not the worse Hotaru has been through."

Tony gave Kai a bewildered look. "She's unconscious," he pointed out. "They're not sure when she's going to wake up." It goes unsaid that _'If she will ever wake up'_. That was pretty serious in Tony's book. Cuts would heal, bones will mend, but trauma to the head was always tricky.

Kai turned to look at him. "She's alive," he said in a grave tone. "That's better than the last time it was this serious."

Tilting his head, Tony gave Kai a confused look. Begrudgingly, Kai began to explain. "It was two nights before our wedding. The situation was serious. By the time I had gotten us out of it, she had lost so much blood. By the time I had gotten her to the hospital, she stopped breathing. It took them four minutes and twenty seven seconds to bring her back. The longest moment in my life," Kai said quietly. Then he broke out in a large grin. "The fact that two days later she still agreed to marry me never ceases to amaze me."

Tony stared in amazement and couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. He ducked his head, rubbing his mouth to conceal the smile. Kai and Hotaru rarely spoke much about their lives before he had met them. There was some stories that Tony pieced together from all the hints they dropped. Unfortunately there was no way to confirm it as most of the incidents happened between secret ninja clans that didn't exist on paper. It was nice that they trusted him with the little tidbits of their shadowy lives.

"How do you two cope?" Tony asked in wondered.

Kai shrugged. "I don't, not really at least. Hotaru and Aero are what get me through the day. The clan does have therapists that everyone is required to see after every mission or once a month if there are no incidents." Kai paused for a moment to think. "Assuming that is, if you ever make it past a month without any incidents of course. It's never happened to me yet. One of them had to move here when Hotaru and I permanently moved to America. I know Hotaru occasionally visits, but only if she feels like she needs it, and honestly that's pretty rare. She does go to the one the company provides but more because Seika won't take no for an answer and it's mandatory.

I'm not sure how exactly she does it, but I'm fairly certain that none of this really phases her because she's used to it. All the kidnappings, waking up in hospitals, alien attacks, they're just facts of life for her and she treats them all as 'Here we go again. Just another day' in her mind. She accepts it as is and moves on."

"You almost make it sound like Hotaru's the secret ninja and you're the average joe that she married," Tony couldn't help but point out.

Kai laughed. "Ever look up Hotaru's records boss?"

Tony had. It was a standard thing to do when he had hired them. Kai's, of course, was notably bare, stripped of all but the basic information. Half of which, if not all, was probably false information.

On the other hand, Hotaru's records were normal. Two loving parents that died in a car accident while she was in college, just a year before she met Kai. A normal high school in which Hotaru had been class president. A traditional four year standard college from which Hotaru had graduated with honors from with a degree in English and a minor in Math (which Tony found quite quirky but it was Hotaru). Tony had assumed her life had gotten interesting after she met Kai. How she had adapted to it so well was a mystery that Tony had yet to understand.

"It was pretty normal," Tony replied, wondering if he had missed something since Kai was asking. "Almost like every other sane normal person in this country, minus the car accident that killed her parents." His tone held a touch of bitterness, knowing the all too familiar sudden loss. Tony wasn't on the best of terms with his parents but to just lose them in an instant without warning was jarring.

"Tsk, tsk," Kai lightly teased. "You didn't dig deep enough for once. Apparently her life has been pretty eventful, even before she met me. She's been a witness and hostage to some thirty different bank robberies and crimes, been kidnapped because she resembled a rich heiress, had her roommate come out as a mutant, had a phantom thief regularly crash on her balcony and taken a trip to a parallel universe where she is empress of an empire. I think she was joking about the last one but she said with such a serious face that I can't be sure."

Silence hung in the room. Tony wasn't sure he believed it either. "You've got to be kidding me," he finally said in disbelief, godsmacked. There was no way.

Kai shrugged. "Hotaru told me her life is actually more predictable now that she's married me. Now it's just get kidnapped by ninjas or get robbed in the lobby at work. It's all clockwork. Nothing like before where she could be walking down the street and something happens. Some people live very eventful lives. Yours is not any different."

There... was some truth to that. One could only described as Tony's life as interesting.

"But a trip to a parallel universe?" Tony asked in disbelief.

Kai laughed. "You should really ask her about that one day. It's a really interesting story. I told her she should write a book about it."

How did someone as normal as Hotaru get pulled into a parallel universe? Then again, these days, it was clear that nothing was impossible anymore.

"Feel better boss?" Kai asked.

"Yeah." The air in the room seemed lighter. Tony still felt the heavy burden of guilt but it wasn't as crushing. There was light at the end of the tunnel and he had confidence that Hotaru would recover. She was such a fighter.

"Good. Now go home and get some rest," Kai ordered. "I'll stay."

Reluctantly, Tony stood up. "If you need anything..." he trailed off.

"I'll call," Kai promised.

With a nod, Tony turned to leave. He was halfway out the door when another thought occurred to him. "Hey Kai? What about your kid?" he asked, turning back towards his janitor.

Kai smiled. "I left Aero in the very capable hands of Agent Coulson."

Tony paused, a feeling of horror settling in the pit of his stomach. "I haven't child proofed the Avengers living area." There was never a need to.

"So I've been told."

"And you've been teaching your kid all your secret sneaky moves haven't you?" Tony felt his despair double. He wished he could wipe that smug smirk on Kai's face.

"Yup."

"Are you seriously telling me that your ninja baby is running around at the top of my tower under the watchful eyes of three Shield agents, a Hulk, an alien god and soldier out of time?" That sounded like a recipe for disaster. Tony hoped the tower was still standing when he returned back.

"Yup."

Tony stood there, mouth agape, trying to form a coherent sentence. Anything to ask what Kai had been thinking. Kai smiled wider. Eventually he gave up and closed his eyes. He rubbed his forehead.

"I… Nevermind. Good night Kai."

"Night boss."

* * *

Hey look! I'm updating and it hasn't been a week yet!

Haha, anyways, it really warms my heart that most of you guys didn't want me to kill off Hotaru. The thought hadn't crossed my mind, but well it means a lot to me that you guys like her so much.

A couple people have asked, but I feel like I should inform you guys that I haven't seen Captain America 2: Winter Solider yet. D: I'm not sure if I'll be able to either. (ImeanIcouldstreamitfromtheinternetsomewherebutuntilthen….) As such the movie currently doesn't… fit anywhere in this universe yet. Everyone told me it was so good and I've managed to avoid most of the spoilers but –grabby hands- If I manage to sit down to watch the movie we'll see how it fits into this universe. But as of right now I don't have any plans.

I did however see The Amazing Spider-Man 2. I'm not okay. I am heavily in denial about the ending. But Peter, Peter, Peter is apparently determined to be in this universe so now I have a 5 page story about Peter in this universe. It might go longer instead of a one shot but I'm on the fence whether to treat it as

1) it happens after TASM2. Canon basically.

2) it happened after TASM1 and ignores TASM2 completely.

3) it happens after TASM2 but diverges from the ending. Again I'm in denial okay?

4) a rewrite of TASM2 because everyone deserves a happy ending yes yes? That includes Harry.

Any suggestions/opinions?

And lastly, the inspiration for this universe has returned at full blast. I have lots of ideas but very little direction as to where to go next. Is there anything in particular you guys want to see or employees you want to see more? (I do tend to favor the Yamashitas over the others…). I make no promises to actually write them.

Drop me a prompt at my tumblr: (remove spaces) seitosokusha . tumblr . com or via PM/review. :3


	3. Lesson 3: Smile Smile Smile

**Lesson 3:** Smile Smile Smile

There had been a crash, followed by the sound of a slamming door. Tam pondered the implications. She had been on her way to the break room when she had heard the noise. Now it could be nothing, maybe someone who dropped something and ran to find a broom to clean up the mess. But years of paranoia didn't let Tam accepted such an answer.

She quietly made her way to the storeroom where she kept a few extra weapons. Better to be safe than sorry. To her surprise, someone was already in there.

It was Tony, curled up in the corner, breathing rapidly. It had taken Tam all of two seconds to recognize that he was having an anxiety attack.

"Tam," Tony breathlessly said.

She watched as shame and annoyance flashed across her boss's face. Inwardly she sighed. To think that a few years ago, it had been her in Tony's place and Arashi had been standing where she was. Things had always come full circle.

Wordlessly, Tam reached into a box on the top shelf. It was fortunate that Tony had decided to hide in this particular storeroom. From the box she pulled out a pink stuff animal and handed it to Tony. "I do not own a Pinkie Pie plushie," she stated loudly.

It had been enough to distract Tony from his anxiety. He looked up at her, confused, not taking the stuff animal. "What?"

Tam glowered. "I do not own a Pinkie Pie plushie and if Arashi ever finds out, I will not live it down." She kneeled down and pressed said stuff animal into Tony arms.

Tony looked down at the strange creature. It was a pink pony with the wildest pink hair he had ever seen. There were balloons on her hindquarters and if Tony remembered correctly, this was from a show called My Little Pony. "Why?"

"Squeeze it."

Not questioning it, Tony did so. Instantly the stuff animal began to sing.

'_Cause I love to make you _

_Smile Smile Smile (Yes I do!)_

_It fills my heart with _

_Sunshine all the while! (Yes it does!)_

_Cause all I really need is a _

_Smile Smile Smile_

_From these happy friends of mines. _

Tony glanced back and forth from the pony to Tam.

"Shut up," Tam grumbled. "It makes me feel better." She did not want to analyze why a children's show did wonders to her mood. Nor did she want to question why out of all the characters she had chosen to identify with Pinkie Pie. Given her personality, it was a surprise to figure out that Rainbow Dash was not her favorite. Perhaps it was something to discuss with her old therapist, when she wasn't in firm denial about being a fan of the show.

The look on Tony's face told her that he wasn't quite buying it. Sensing that his anxiety had gone (and to change the subject before he started asking questions), Tam asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Tony curtly replied.

Tam shrugged. "As long as you're talking to someone about it." It was better for her that Tony didn't want to talk about it. She didn't do the whole emotional support thing. That was Arashi and Asho's job.

They sat together in silence for a long time. Finally Tony said, "Thanks Tam."

"No problem."

* * *

Short chapter. Real life has started bothering me again (so tired...) I'm trying to keep the updates constant but I get a feeling I'm going to end up vanishing for a few months. There are a few reviews from last chapter that I never got around to replying. My apologies. If I remember and have the energy I'll attempt to do so... a couple people left some really interesting reviews.

I'm also open for prompts on my tumblr

seitosokusha.

tumblr.

.com (slash) post (slash) 90422468643 (slash) prompt-me-something


End file.
